Fatigue

I have been ap busy with Facebook and Twitter hadn't made time for the blog my hands have not been 100% or even 80% that may be why I blog less. Just been real tired and fatigued my hands have been having slight tremors again real moody this mess has me on a roller coaster again

Pain in the neck

One symptom I have is severe neck pain and yesterday it had me flat on my back I have been only getting a few hours sleep the past few days because I have been in so much pain the Norco every 4 hours is not helping. I really wish a CURE would be found tomorrow. I miss sleep , I miss my old body.

Understanding "I want my life back"

I think MS Awareness week has brought more sadness to me than it has joy earlier in the week I was all pumped up now im just a lil confused the more awareness I try to make available to family and friends the more response of "Im praying for you" "Are you working out?" "Are you eating right" "Your not disabled go out and walk because you can yes you will get tired but do it" (im going going,going ...so much I am only home maybe 2 days a week and even then im pushing myself ugh) or they say " I saw this 80 year old woman walking the other day" um ok saying that was supposed to make me feel better well it didn't it made me feel worse because I already know someone older than me can walk further without becoming fatigued or off balance when standing too long, or legs weaken when walking or ribs tightening or the temp effecting their bodies. Huh tired Im not tired Im freakin fatigued WTH they are not getting the messege I am so so freakin tired of no one understanding it's now making me sad again and I don't like feeling like this I hate it , I hate MS, I want my life back right now.

· · 38 minutes ago

Up Up and away

My chest hug got me last night I mean I have it everyday but yesterday was like I wasn't on any preventative meds for it I could hardly talk,breathing was labored. Man do I hate MS. Dealt a bad hand but STILL I MOVE

Busy Day Insomnia

Tried to go to bed early last night because I knew I was going to get beautified at the salon early morning and the dentist late afternoon. Well MS had another plan for my day woke up at 3 am with calf cramps the baclofen helps but I guess sometimes it just doesnt do it's job. So here I sit 6 am and still awake. What a long day this will be my neck is on fire my legs are cramping and my spine hurts this day has to get better as time goes on. But I do know that with my MS theres no tellin how it will go. Until my fingers hit the keyboard again have a blessed day all. Keep doin what YOU CAN!!!

On to the next chapter

Wow my life has gone 360 degrees in the counterclockwise all I can say is wow. Yesterday I had an appointment at the DMV I spent 15 min there getting my handicap license plate for the last 2 years I have had the permenant placard but I kept forgetting to put it in the window , I decided ok save yourself some energy by getting the liscense plate , so there it is well I got the plate now it's official the world will know my car runs but it is disabled LOL kinda bitter sweet moment for me but hey it's done and guess I should clap and say yeah I DID IT!!! but naw thats one thing that Im still not to happy about just like the wheelchair and walker in the trunk of my sporty SUV.

Symptom Video from 2011

An old video of mine I found on youtube kinda forgot about it til few weeks ago thought Id post it to the blog. The tremors were easier to see on video when I was holding something so thats why I was holding the empty plastic bottle.

http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D8b1jps7IyV4%26feature%3Dyoutube_gdata_player&feature=youtube_gdata_player&v=8b1jps7IyV4&gl=US

In denial

The wheelchair my doctor ordered was just delivered it was ordered to help me in times of fatigue and I still want to get out and do things.

Like the mall for Christmas shopping or the amusement park with our son without having to rent a 80.00 scooter wow that was an expensive trip to Disneyland that year.

Well any way why was I happy hubby was taking a lil nap and our lil one was at his cousins when it was delivered and he wouldn't see it?

The answer to that question I just don't have but then on the other hand I complain because my family sometimes acts as if I don't have a disability.

   I have been having alot of twitching in my hands not my usual tremors, pain in my ribs again and a real hot back kinda feels like someone left the heating pad on high and put it on my back, chocking in my sleep, falling asleep and waking straight up when sitting still for long periods, arm twitching.

   I decided I had enough after 5 days maybe I should see the doctor to see if anything could be done. Well I did see the doctor and as usual I got the same response "Well u know everything you described is classic MS symptoms" There is really not more than what I have done for you that I can do that will make you more comfortable there are no visual problems so no need to start you on steroids because it may not be a relapse it may just be exactly what is known about MS symptoms that come along with the package when your dealing with nerves.

I did get up the nerve to ask for a wheelchair to help with the constant fatigue he did agree and one has been ordered. The walker is good but when walking makes you fatigued it doesnt help much. I will be able to do my MS walk in style

   Now to get up the nerve to let my husband know his wife NEEDS a chair for FATIGUE (he always says well if your tired go take a nap)

    ugh trying to explain to someone that does not have MS is such a hard thing to do when it comes to invisable symptoms. I have tried having him watch the videos EVEN MY VIDEO I MADE he has not seen any of them yet. His theory is it wont change things and if you didn't know you had MS you would not be saying you have all these symptoms. Before you knew you just had a few symptoms now you have so many. I try explaining that I had 8 attacks and with each attack came the new symptoms not sure if he understood that.

I am going with the hope that one day he will meet me half way on this or we may have to think about parting ways.

I have now decided I will not go to the doctors unless it's a visit they initiated or I have visual problems to get help or my annual MRI's.

I fell asleep last night lookin at stuff to buy on Groupon when I woke up realized I almost purchased something oops time to take the card info off

Ahotmess With MS Awareness video

Making New Memories

Making New Memories

http://main.nationalmssociety.org/site/TR?pg=team&fr_id=18518&team_id=272792

Go A-team Inland Empire Walk MS 2012

Pens and Needles

I know Jesus had to hurt worse than I do today but wow does this hurt my spine,my face,my hands,my ribs,my back etc hurt like heck just can't be normal for one person to be in so much pain. Made a appointment for Friday to have a look to be sure this is all nerve or MS pain and to see if I need to be given something stronger for the pain OUCH. Anyhow how are u today? because well me I'm not feelin to hot.

Hugs that r not fun

Had a great day with an old friend today went to palm springs for lunch and lil gambling wow guess I did too much few hours into it all my ribs tightened my back felt hot ,legs started cramping now mind u when I left home the TN was acting up and my right leg was already spastic needless to say we came home without goin to the movies once again MS has stuck its head in where it was not wanted.

MRI AND VIT D RESULTS

since the vit D was 19 doc has ordered 50,000 IU of vit D by prescription weekly for one month. The Neuro report on this months MRI says no changes on MRI since June 2011 so no need to change therapy's again will stay on copaxone for now. Lot's of bone pain again today, hand and calf cramps the baclofen has just been increased will see if by the end of the week the cramps are better. I sure hope so. I made dinner tonight well kinda still practicing lol it was edible and not toxic today but would have been better if I remembered to make all the meal not just the meat, whoever invented the canned veggie will always be a winner in my book. Still better than yesterdays burnt vegetable's and frozen chicken fingers.

Tub experience

Wow I had taken a 5 hour nap yesterday but why did I fall asleep in the tub with the water still runnin I woke up when my hair got wet :( not a good experience lil frightening I would say wow

Remember you are not alone

I went to a great support group meeting yesterday and what a coincidence they talked about depression it was perfect for me and it reminded me that depression sometimes comes with this disease and sometimes u may need a lil help and its ok.... Before I was diagnosed with MS I was being treated for bipolar disorder for about 12 years and sometimes I kinda forget I have two illnesses and I let the one that is my personality kinda take over and that's ok but when it gets out of control I need to remember to take control of it so as of today I'm in a battle to conquer both no more skipping bipolar meds because the MS pain is too bad. Have a good day all enjoy the super bowl I will let out some stress yelling at my TV :)

MS

http://video.about.com/ms/Multiple-Sclerosis.htm

Tonight is the night

Kinda can't wait for the results of the follow up MRI. I go in the tube tonight will be taking my Ativan as to calm me down so I don't beat the mess out of the walls once I'm slid in. On our way there I felt a little nauseous and clammy never felt like this before o well Mabe it was my cooking so we trucked on to my MRI got there I was fine until they called my name then all heck broke loose. Mam can u lay back and close your eyes me "ok" shortly after me "um wait I gotta get up my nose inches " tech ok well u don't have to do this it will be long and u will be in there awhile. Me "ok well can I call u if I need u?". Tech yes sure I will let u out. Well guys I did it its over and from now on I will say yes iam claustraphobic I don't ever want to do that again blah now the wait is on for results 

Fatigue

To start off my day I got bad news my oldest did not do well at his big track meet he loves track and right now his heart is broken and there is nothing I can do to fix it. On the other hand our cousin that had bone cancer and had the cadaver bone put in her leg has been given the ok to get back on the soccer field no games but she can practice. :) MS wise Wow I was so fatigued today. I went to a birthday party yesterday I think I did too much I was the old me for a few hours. I took pictures somethin I used to do everyday it was so much fun feelin normal again and I knew I would pay for it today my body is killing me I rested all day today that helped some but now I'm walking weird well a lil drunk and my eyes feel weird so I will use tomorrow to rest again. I hope you are all staying well and rested.